Your actions tell the world who you really are. Sure what you say and think are an integral part of your personality also, but your behaviour shows unequivocally the person you have chosen to be. That person might be brave, or wise, or selfish, or outrageous, or practical, or irresponsible or a combination of those and many other qualities. That person may also have occasions when they show the world they are an imbecile.
For example, yesterday I went to a wedding. Or at least I thought I was going to a wedding, but upon my arrival I discover that I am in fact only going to the reception because I failed to read page two of the wedding invitation which apparently was very clear in asking whether you were going to the ceremony, or just the evening do. I had thought it was odd that the wedding started at 7pm and lasted until 4am, but hey, California is a desert – it makes sense to me to do things at night.
So imbecilic moment number one, I attended half a wedding by accident.
Imbecilic moment number two, I managed to attend two half weddings… because I went to the wrong wedding.
Yep that’s right the venue had two separate entrances for two different banquet halls, and I walked in through the doors to the wrong wedding, helped myself to wine and appetizers supplied by a bride and groom I didn’t know, made small talk to their friends and relatives, and attributed all the curious looks I was getting to a particularly sassy little satin number and my cherry red lips and heels. In my defence, I was not the only one, the two other guests I knew at the wedding had also arrived at the wrong place, and so all of us blithely assumed we were at the right place. Only when a total stranger in a wedding dress turned up did we think it might be a good idea to look at the seating plan… at which point we realised our names were not on it.
Some important lessons were learned here:
- It’s ridiculously easy to crash a wedding;
- If you’re not gate-crashing, confirm with the doorman that you are at the correct celebration;
- If you suspect you are in the wrong place, down a couple more of those complimentary drinks before you find out for certain – after all, nobody has a clue who you are so it’s a golden opportunity to drink on someone else’s tab and try out that alter-ego you’ve been keeping under wraps. “Hi, I’m Sinnamon, sweet and spicy with an S. How do I know the happy couple… weeeeell I met the groom at his bachelor party.”
- Get in every picture that you can. Photobomb everything and insist that the official photographer takes pictures of you with at least ten different new friends. That way, when the couple is putting together their wedding album, you will have a permanent place in their heart.
After three glasses of wine, I did finally make it to the wedding to which I was actually invited, and I recognised a few people who’d also gone to the other wedding first and helped themselves to canapes and cocktails. An imbecile with company is a happy, confident imbecile.
This couple by the way knows how to throw a party. On tables already groaning with food, there was also wine, bottles of Hennessy, Ketel One vodka and shot glasses at every place setting. Furthermore, they had the most professional videography team I’ve ever seen at a wedding, there was even a camera on a crane. The upside to this: an extremely slick and entertaining wedding video. The downside to this: a bloopers reel comprised entirely of me singing along with great gusto, probably out of time, definitely out of key to Kesha’s Tick Tock.
Yes, I have forever been immortalized as the wedding guest who likes to “kick ‘em to the kerb unless they look like Mick Jagger”.